Distractions and Learning to Trust

I would like to be further along in my mileage for the year so far but that is gone and I can not change it. What I can do is look to the positives and recognize and accept that there has been a lot of distractions in the first three months.

I work in finance for a manufacturing firm, so we have to get through year end and audits and there has been some political movements which so far have been to my advantage, but its a distraction.

In Jan I was given my US Citizenship interview date, which while I have always followed the laws, still left me nervous and worried. Everyday you turn on the news and read about people being deported and yes, there is always an aside of “they broke the law 20 years ago” but it still left me nervous by bringing attention to myself by applying versus just staying a permanent resident. Thankfully last week, I had my interview and was approved to become a US Citizen which will be happening in the coming weeks. As an aside in recognition of this, I went and bought my first international sports top/jersey that is not an Irish jersey.

Both these things being completed/near complete have lifted a lot of weight.

Then there is the SWIMMING, I am not entirely sure what happened other than the above, but there were many days that the idea of getting in the water was less than appealing, I still worked out a lot, with me and the elliptical and weights becoming well acquainted again in recent months and even a 15lb weight loss.

In Feb while I only swam 13 times, I passed 40 miles across those swims. So, its not quite like I have been idle just mileage is down versus prior year.

So what does it mean for this years swims, right now I am not sure, I am realistic in that I always recognize that no swim is a “gimme“, every swim requires pain and suffering and I may be under playing my own. A wise swim friend has pointed out that I have a lot of mileage in my arms, I am not starting with the same base as I have in prior years, even with the reduced swims I have over 800km logged in the past 12 months (with partial March included as a full month).

So what is the plan, well for various reasons (including my mother visiting for next 10 days and she has not seen me in 2 years), I am being reasonable on my expectations for the rest of March. However that leaves me with 10 weeks to End Wet (36 mile swim). A few months of 120k+ meters is not unreasonable or outside of reasonable expectations and at least 1 week topping 60km, again is already easily imaginable in my mind.

My mind also is the key and where I already see and feel the change, the mileage needs don’t seem so daunting, when I get in the pool now the 2000*3 FS set does not seem that long.

I don’t necessarily know what changed, I don’t know if the dates being closer or stress lifting or the signs of spring change my mentality but I can feel it and I am someone who swims from feeling.

I don’t make training plans, I let my mind and body find its way (with a knowledge of the mileage I need to hit in my head) and maybe that’s what I need to trust more and stop the fretting. I will give it my all and if that’s not enough this time, I will come back and try it again until it is enough.

Yours sincerely

A Somewhat Adequate Swimmer

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