It’s been 11 days since I last swam, it’s been 10 days since I last interacted in person with someone other than my better half. No this isn’t my AA speech, though I could understand people becoming alcoholics during this period. Something to take the edge off.
Usually for me, it’s swimming that takes the edge off. It allows me to free my brain and either forget or work things out. For a lot of us now, we don’t currently have our outlets.
Generally, I am finding myself in a good spot. I am dealing with associated stress, anxiety, forward looking concern pretty well. I have a treadmill, a bike and dogs to distract.
But on occasion, it all feels a little crazy. I find myself fixated on things I can try to control like how much milk I have in the house, cause drinking tea is important and I get fixated. I try to avoid social media/news as much as I can. Checking every 30 mins won’t change the items I can control. So staying away from them is helpful for me and definitely never listening to anything Trump says helps.
As someone with mental illness in the family and who has spent many years concerned about inheriting the genetic one that resides in my family. I am often concerned when my behavior from my perspective seems off. I am going to throw out my own non affiliated opinion, from my experiences of dealing with people with these challenges from my earliest memories, don’t worry right now about how your behavior seems to others. Do whatever gives you comfort, if all you want to do is sit on the couch, do it. If you want to spend hours running around your house, apartment, back yard, just do it. There is no right or wrong for how you feel or what you need to stay healthy, mentally or physically. Look after you and yours.
In the positives of things that I am focusing on, my avg sleep has never been higher according to my Garmin and has increased to just over 7 hours versus 6. So I take this as being an opportunity to reenergize my body.
My resting heart rate has never been better at an avg of 52 over past 7 days. Which I guess reinforces that my swimming over past 8 years has done good for me.
I am spending more time with Erin and our dogs. To my complete surprise and shock, working in the same house and spaces has not caused any issues. I have claimed for years me and Erin could never work together (or at least in same space) but I apparently I am wrong. She helps me get out of the brain circles when I start fixating on things like milk and my general acceptance of things helps her deal with overall anxiety of the situation. Complimentary I guess 🙂
A friend also posted a picture of Lake Erie this morning with the sun rising and that also gives me something to look forward to. The first day in Lake Michigan this year will involves lots of lying on my back, looking at the sky and clouds and appreciating what we have and accepting our tiny place in this universe and the things I can’t control.
a land bound somewhat adequate swimmer